You Have to Laugh Really!

Cartoon by Cathy Thorne

For those of you who don’t know me, this little tale might seem unfortunate. It might even glean a smidgen of sympathy. For those  who do know me, it is just another episode in the life of Ann. And as usual, you may smile; laugh even, while shaking your head in wonder. The simplest of things tend to become very complicated in my world …

 I arrived home from Portugal yesterday to find my car was dead. To be precise my car battery was dead. I was not fazed because I have a battery charger, which I attached and waited, as one does. After what I thought was adequate time to charge the battery, I sat into the car and turned the key. I needed groceries. I cleaned out the fridge of all perishables before my five-day sojourn to Portugal.The car coughed once and returned to its comatose state. I was going no-where. Checking the charger I discovered its fuse had blown. I disengaged the battery charger, closed the bonnet, and retreated back into the house flopping on the sofa in abject defeat. Later scouring the cupboard I found four chocolate goldgrain biscuits and a packet of crisps. Dinner!

With the new dawn, defeat was shaken off and I was ready to tackle this dead battery thing again. I walked into town and purchased six fuses just to be on the safe side. Today was market day in the square and I purchased a few tasty treats for myself. I thought I deserved it.  When I got home after changing the fuse in the charger, I again connected it to the car. Sighing with relief, came inside made my first pot of Barry’s tea in a week and a plate of my tasty treats with brown bread. Proper dinner!


After what I thought was ample time for said battery to charge, I went outside to give it a try. Did you guess…"Dead Jim," as Scotty would say to Captain Kirk! I had made arrangements to meet my sister-in-law, Breda in town for coffee and a chat. I was walking again. I consoled myself with thoughts of, this is good for me, look at all the exercise I'm getting and it is a beautiful fresh sunny afternoon.

Now I brought my notebook computer with me, because I was also having an issue with that. But hey, one issue per post!

I related my long-winded dilemma to Breda and her husband Hank. Hank said he had jump leads and would be happy to help me out. I was thrilled. Things were looking up again.

The car had to be moved out of the driveway to attach the jump leads. All went very smoothly. Jump leads did their job, car turned over. I closed the car door, put it into gear, pulled out into the middle of the road and it died just as Breda and Hank rounded the corner and out of sight.

Next issue! I tried to call Breda on the mobile phone, but for some peculiar reason I kept getting the signal you get when dialling incorrectly. Keep in mind here that the car is still in the middle of the road!!!! Frustrated at this point, I put it  into neutral, and tried to push the thing into the driveway. Needless to say, I did not succeed.

Time was marching on and I had a ticket for a cinema screening of an opera that was starting at 7PM. I couldn’t leave the car in the middle of the road and go to the opera. I ran down the street and knocked at  Joe Foley's door, a friend of my husband’s family, who owns a garage. I gave him a quick synopsis of my dilemma. He very graciously came up to the house and jumped the car again. It worked again. He then connected my little battery charger with its new fuse, telling me it would take about three hours to fully charge.

By this time it was too late to go to the opera. So with a sigh of resignation, I gave up that ghost. Joe called back three hours later to see how things were progressing charge wise.

Tomorrow morning, he is calling at 9:30. He will jump the car and follow me to the garage so I don’t get stranded. The time has come to pull out the big guns!!! You have to laugh really.