|Hosted by Alex J. Cavanaugh.|
So I ask you what writer is not insecure. At this moment in time I am suffering from major insecurities. These past two months have seen go from raring to write to languishing in dread, wondering if I will ever write again.
Forget the politicians. I am the personified definition of flip-flopper. Ann/flip-flopper, flip-flopper/Ann. Why because I go from writing like the cloppers to dead in the waters of the wordless abyss.
At present I am working on a story (WIP). I have found 17,000 WIP words so far. I took a short break from my story(WIP) to write a short story of 2,000 words for a competition. I was in my writing like the cloppers phase. Short story was written and edited. Two wonderful blogging friends, Theresa Milstein and Nicole Zoltack, kindly agreed to critique my little story. Pleased with the results I posted it off. It now fends for itself in the world of Short Story judgment.
I felt empowered and decided to write another short story with a picture prompt. Filled with excitement I felt this one was going to be wonderful. But alas, the tidal waters of the abyss started to edge its way in my direction. I had a premise of where I wanted the story to go, but was unable to pull it together. Ideas bobbed up and down in the tidal waves of the abyss, never quite catching their breath. In the end I had to concede this one was dead in the water. I changed gear and returned to WIP.
I ordered a book on Amazon awhile back on the recommendations of fellow bloggers and Writers Support 4U members. “Writing the Breakout Novel” by Donald Maass. I am finding the book very interesting. I hope to discover what is required for a breakout novel and apply that to my WIP.
Last night while reading,"Writing the Breakout Novel" I found myself wondering if I had it in me. With each page I turned I questioned my ability to tell a story anyone would care to read, to grab a reader and hold them within the grips of my written page. To actually write something someone couldn’t put down, the coveted page turner.
The book keeps telling me that first time writers/novels are usually not up to the task. You really have to have something special and most first timers don’t have it. Voice in head said, “I told you so!” Voice went on to remind me of unsuccessful short story. I sighed, closed the book and wondered why do I do this to myself. Why was I allowing this book to give Voice credence, allowing Voice to use book to undermine my already fragile confidence. I toyed with the idea of banishing book to the bookcase or maybe hurl it under the bed. But then I wouldn’t find out what Donald Maass, literary agent looks for in a manuscript. And more importantly the pitfalls of the first timer. So book will be read and finished. Voice will be ignored (hopefully)and who knows, an idea just might surface from beneath the waves for the picture prompt. I live in hope.